Escape book summary
I recently read a heart-wrenching book Escape by Carolyn Jessop. It is the story of her growing up in FLDS, where she was (and other women were also) treated badly as sex objects and the men were/are kings. Bad treatment of kids was common,e.g., her mother hitting her was a sign of love, having fun with children and playing with them was illegal, and her husband treating her badly was seen as a sign of her being worthy of attention. Polygamy is seen as an opportunity for a women to get to heaven through her priesthood head (fancy name for her husband). By being in harmony with God, her husband, and sister wives, she gets to the celestial kingdom of God. (The day of day working of these principles are far from their intent. There is a lot of competition and ill-will between wives for husband’s attention and sexual contact so they can have more kids and use that as power in the family.)
What I found amazing about Carolyn’s story is the fact that she had never really seen the outside world (which was portrayed as the land of the devil), but still was able to find enough inconsistencies and signs of harassment inside that she knew it was not what God intended. The newest prophet Warren Jeffs’s extreme view did not help FLDS’s cause either. For example, when the prophet did not let a charter school that Carolyn had proposed go through, she asked “how can religion be a suppressive force?” This question might be easy for others to ask who are exposed to different viewpoints, but thanks to the college education and outside exposure that Carolyn received, she was able to ask this too.
The saddest thing in the book (and there were a LOT of them) was that any ailment or problem with the woman is portrayed as her not being in harmony with her husband and God. For example, her son having cancer was seen and believed to be a punishment for she not having harmony with her husband. Merrill Jessop, her husband, at some point, even wanted their son to die (by not letting her take care of the son) so Carolyn gets humbled by the experience!
Once she escaped, people within FLDS (her father, husband and others) tried to lure her back into the church by threats, show of affection, social pressure and such. But she stuck to her guns. That was incredible. Many women who had escaped in the past did buckle under the social pressure and went back (and treated badly afterward despite teh promise of good treatment, of course). The fact that Merrill was very powerful in FLDS made life difficult for her too, even outside of FLDS, as people were afraid of helping her. She also struggled with her own children wanting to go back as they thought they are going to hell as a result of escaping from “the land of God”. During the part-time custody Merrill got of children, he also tried to incite children against Carolyn, and that also made her life difficult. But for me, the once incident that left a mark was when her father told her that she should come back because her salvation was on line. He told Merrill would not mistreat her ever again (as earlier, he did not know that she was so serious that she would leave) and will even give her a house to live in. They will give her a legal representation if needed. She clearly understood the bullshit thrown at her, and asked her dad: “Dad, do you think I am that stupid?”
Many times while listening to the book, I wondered at the resilience and strength of this “iron lady”. She is one hell of a tough woman. She is very smart too. She and others in the community kept referring back to the word of God and how it related to what higher up people were saying and kept wondering if something is amiss! And finally, she was able to put two and two together! Her resilience also showed through a couple of experiences when she almost died. She describes these almost “after death” experience where she starts to listen that she is needed in this world for her children, and she starts to fight for her life again.
One thing I found surprising about the story is why she did not run away when she was running a motel near Las Vegas. It seemed like she was exposed to the idea of leaving by a gentleman in the motel (Jason, I think) and she did have all her children with her at times. May be I did miss something in the story.
Overall, a great story which hard to listen to. At times, I considered quitting the boo, because the incidents against her (and in general against women and in the community) kept getting worse and worse. I am glad I listened to the whole book. A very inspiring tale.
